Hear on Holiday (taken from my old blog)

Here on holiday, I do not hear what happens on the holidays because I no longer do. Do not weep nor cry it is such a simple truth to understand with enough time. The years come and they go but now a days they just seem to go, the hours grow short and the days just seem to run together anymore. Here on holiday though, these days are meant to be longer, meant to be happier and shared by many loved ones around you but not for me. Do not weep nor cry it is such a simple truth to understand with enough time.

Can you not hear on holidays the bells that rings, the love that someone shares, a child scream for a good toy, laughter is all in the air or so it use to be because I no longer hear it. Do not weep nor cry it is such a simple truth to understand with enough time. I often find myself repeating things to repetitively and maybe it's such a crazy mess in such rare state of mind, if only the light in my head could stay on through the holiday. Maybe then what I could see, would also help hear on holiday. The years come and go but mostly now they just go, perhaps they could last a little bit longer if I could hear on holiday.

**I wrote this just 4 days later from "A light" Though I had found alight with RHPS, I yet still found myself very much alone.  It was another Christmas and Holiday I had spent alone.  Outside perhaps 2 holidays in 6 years of living in Atlanta, I found myself spending Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas very much alone.  On a couple I did have them around my father and year or two had them around him and his girlfriend (now step-mom).  But even with the chance with them, I either woke up late and they had already eaten, so I just went on about my lonely holiday alone or they went somewhere that I didn't care to be at.  Basically I felt very much alone and now 2 years later, I have spent more holidays with people but I never get too excited for them now.  Happy Holidays to you though and hope you find yourself never too alone.

A light (used from my old blog)

A light, a light, a light in my head. There is a light in my head, an idea that looms and blooms as I think with a light in my head. There is no dim spot, no darkness at all, all of me is showing as there is a light, a light in my head. All that seemed lost and dark is now bright and found because there is a light, a light, a light in my head that gleams just like head light beams.

If you feel alone or hidden in the shadow step into my light and you will see better. Let all be shown that you don't have to be alone. Come inside and see the light, the light, the light in my head. If you have an idea or light in your head, embrace it and let it show, join my light and our light will be blinding. Let our light show together that we may inspire others to have light and grow and let the world be full of light and no darkness shall be found but we must start with a light, a light, a light in my head.

**I originally wrote this December 23, 2009; I wanted to express to people that feeling alone isn't something you should experience for long.  Finding people like you is not all that hard, though I thought it was true for many years until, I had recently joined (at that time) the cast of LDOD a Rocky Horror Picture Show shadow cast in Atlanta.  After joining and finally finding that people could and would love me like I never knew fully before, I found myself wanting to have others feel the same. 

Come, Go, Show

As I come, so does another day
As you go, I wish you could stay
As we show, love will never be gray

Time has come, alas I have found you
Time will go, my love will stay true
Time can show, love like this is few

Thankful for come, with you things feel right
Thankful for go, because you are never far from sight
Thankful for show, for you in my life is a delight

I was Blessed, I have Wasted

I was blessed with health.
I was blessed with intelligence.
I was blessed with common sense.
I was blessed with sight.
I was blessed with sound.
I was blessed with speak.
I was blessed with walk.
I was blessed with talent.
I was blessed with love.
I was blessed with strength.
I was blessed with age.
I was blessed with being Me.

I have wasted breath.
I have wasted discovery.
I have wasted knowledge.
I have wasted seeing.
I have wasted listening.
I have wasted talking.
I have wasted sitting.
I have wasted skill.
I have wasted treasures.
I have wasted abilities.
I have wasted youth.
I have wasted not being Me.

All my wishes and dreams have come and gone and yet they seem to creep in allowing me to seize them and I am scared not to grab on and take advantage.

My wishes and hopes for you at no matter what age you are, you go forward and get all that you can, because when your time has come, it rarely gives you a second chance. Never give up and always love yourself as I love you. ♥

Missing In Action

Sadly the last blog that I had, I cannot access the account to either delete it or update or change passwords or remember e-mail to it.  So I will take those stories and put them on this new one.  I started this blog, mainly due to simple reason of I miss writing.  Though no one or very few people will read the new one.  I find writing to be a good outlet for anger, depression, laughter, love and sometimes even hate.  The impressions and views that are written here are for just an escape from reality, some may be adult content oriented, some may be too kiddish but letting my mind wonder and be free of judgement through writings is uplifting to the spirit and allowing an expression of my mind to be let loose freely.

I will write as often as I can one of the first posts I will put up is "I am blessed, I have wasted." I find it to be very smartly written and one of my best pieces to date.  It expresses the fact that I was blessed with many good things and yet somehow I have wasted so many good things and it nearly makes me cry knowing how good life has been and now that I am nearly 30 haven't accomplished much at all.  I hope you enjoy the blog and my writings if dare read any of them.