Hear on Holiday (taken from my old blog)

Here on holiday, I do not hear what happens on the holidays because I no longer do. Do not weep nor cry it is such a simple truth to understand with enough time. The years come and they go but now a days they just seem to go, the hours grow short and the days just seem to run together anymore. Here on holiday though, these days are meant to be longer, meant to be happier and shared by many loved ones around you but not for me. Do not weep nor cry it is such a simple truth to understand with enough time.

Can you not hear on holidays the bells that rings, the love that someone shares, a child scream for a good toy, laughter is all in the air or so it use to be because I no longer hear it. Do not weep nor cry it is such a simple truth to understand with enough time. I often find myself repeating things to repetitively and maybe it's such a crazy mess in such rare state of mind, if only the light in my head could stay on through the holiday. Maybe then what I could see, would also help hear on holiday. The years come and go but mostly now they just go, perhaps they could last a little bit longer if I could hear on holiday.

**I wrote this just 4 days later from "A light" Though I had found alight with RHPS, I yet still found myself very much alone.  It was another Christmas and Holiday I had spent alone.  Outside perhaps 2 holidays in 6 years of living in Atlanta, I found myself spending Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas very much alone.  On a couple I did have them around my father and year or two had them around him and his girlfriend (now step-mom).  But even with the chance with them, I either woke up late and they had already eaten, so I just went on about my lonely holiday alone or they went somewhere that I didn't care to be at.  Basically I felt very much alone and now 2 years later, I have spent more holidays with people but I never get too excited for them now.  Happy Holidays to you though and hope you find yourself never too alone.